it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
