Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
50% drunk capacity currently
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There's even glitter on my cock...
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