We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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