The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
