So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
