Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i believe in u and ur pee
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize