they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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