I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
