The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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