My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
