I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
