Dude my mom stole all your condoms
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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