We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
