Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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