i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
