I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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