mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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