she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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