What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
