? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
