for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
