My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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