please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
