you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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