when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
