So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
