sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
