Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
