ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
