You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
