i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
