Where did you get a picture of my penis
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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