I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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