Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
