By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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