Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The uberlube is also flammable
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
