if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
