I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
