I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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