I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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