You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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