I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
