apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
