YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So squirting runs in the family.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
