Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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