Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
