I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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