I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it's like heaven, but drunker
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize