When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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