My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
