dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
