She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
