yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize