my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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