I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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