How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
