I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
