I didn't shave. On purpose
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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