He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
