u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
