Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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